Intouchables

The 2011 French movie Intouchables, The Intouchables in English is probably one of the best movies I have seen in many years.

I had this movie sitting on my Netflix instant list for quite a while and finally got to it last night. I can honestly say that I felt a bit stupid once I finished watching it. I have a tendency to beat myself up when I realize how long it took me to watch a great movie.

Intouchables is a heartwarming movie. It is real, honest and funny. Francois Cluzet and Omar Sy had such great chemistry. Anne Le Ny’s character was such a crucial one as her opinion changed in the course of the movie. While she is never overwhelmingly outspoken about how she feels about Driss, she is a great representation of what the average middle or upper class person think of Driss’ character.

The movie is great to me because it shows the judgments, it shows how they can be accurate at first but it also shows how they are only accurate because of how we perpetuate them. The scene with Phillipe and his lawyer is so crucial in setting the tone of the movie. So is the opening scene of course which is pure brilliance.

Maybe the reason I love this movie so much is because of how it shows people’s growth and change. It teaches by example, not by telling or reprimanding. The progression of Driss behavior is so well played. The more he spends time with Phillipe, the more he calms down, the more he feels respected and the less he falls back to his bad habits. The scene when Driss asks the man in the car to move his vehicle is the finale in Driss maturity and growth journey. If you watched the movie, you’ll know what I mean.

The openness the Phillipe has from the get go comes from his hidden despair, his desire to be seen for what he still is and never lost. When Driss walks in, he sees his opportunity to be without being judged. He is able to understand Driss and even dismissing his negative actions.

Phillipe and Driss need each other more than they even realize. They embark in a lifesaving adventure. They both become who they want to be by teaching each other without ever realizing they are doing so.

If you are a hope, faith oriented person who believes in the power of human touch, you need to watch this movie. It will inspire you, put you at ease and make you smile. It might also make you look at people who are different from you in a whole different way.

intouchables

She is just one of us

Sometimes, smart people do really stupid things; beautiful people, ugly things; respectable people, offensive things. So many names come to mind, people whom we loved and made mistakes or caught us by surprise by doing something we thought they would never do.

There are 2 groups of people: those we idolized or love and out of nowhere shock us, and the ones who we know are really smart and we love and hate at the same time. We usually are not too shocked when they do something stupid. We expect it from them.

Let me give you a few examples. There are a lot of people we look up to, or enjoy watching on TV, listening to, but then one day, they do something stupid and suddenly it changes our whole view on them. Think Paula Deen. Think Lance Armstrong, Think Bill Clinton, Think, oh you know. I am sure you have your own list. Yes Miley Cyrus falls in this category, at least for young people and parents who thought she was a good example, and then suddenly went and did something so shocking….more on that later.

But first, let’s address the other category, the ones who really are smart, but do really stupid things because by trying to make a point (usually a good one) they are portrayed as monsters. Often, they are just misunderstood. Kanye West to me is the perfect example. If you listen to the man, he is actually extremely smart. He only wants harmony, peace and help people. He also does incredibly stupid things. I personally like the guy and like to hear him talk. I am very much like him. I sometimes let my frustration take over. Kanye West has gotten himself into a lot of trouble for things which, if you think about it, are not so wrong or untrue. Kanye lacks tact. I sometimes do too. I speak my mind and sometimes need to bite my tongue.

There were many men and women in history who were loved and hated at the same time. They were at first judged, only to be respected later when people realized what their message was.

There is nothing worse than seeing good people do stupid things because they might have lost their chance to do some real good. Look at Weiner, he screwed up a very promising career because of his indiscretion. I personally don’t care. I am one to believe that this just reminds us that these people are human. They make mistake like we all do.

No one is perfect. Yes, that includes you. You know you’ve done something stupid once. If you haven’t, maybe you should try it.

We’re all a bit judgmental of one another. Why? Because we are human and in a way we have a sense of superiority. We are social beings and we judge. I think jealousy plays a big part too.

This brings me to our dear Miley. Poor Miley, well, sort of. She is talented. Her songs are not any worse than a lot of pop songs playing on the radio these days. I believe she would have been a lot more respected if she had sang her songs but illustrated them differently. She took it a bit too far, but that is HER rebellion. I guess, even if we don’t like it, it is her life, her decision and in the end, she will be the one dealing with the consequences. She will be the one who will need to explain to her kids why she felt it was ok to expose herself to the world the way she did. It will be her regrets if she has any. 10 years from now, we won’t care about her VMA performance or her wrecking ball video. Who really cares about how shocking Madonna or Lady Gaga were in their videos?

Miley is just one of us, going through life. Yes she is in the public eye and she is using that to really get back at an industry who honestly probably took advantage of her and robbed her of a normal childhood in the first place. So in a way, who are we to judge (me including)? Michael Jackson, who is one of my favorite artists of all time, has done some PRE TTY weird stuff too. His ball grabbing was bothering me a lot when I was a kid. A LOT. But having a little compassion and understanding his life made me accept him and all his weirdness. I even felt empathy.

We all do things that are not always good or right or appropriate even. We all make mistakes and grow in our own weird way and at our own pace.

To be honest, I think that as spectators, we are awfully critical. Again. Guilty here too.

Everyone talks about how they hate the Kardashians. But honestly, who cares? First of all, their dad was famous before they were, they were thrown into the public eyes many years ago, before the sex tape. Then they had an opportunity and seized it maybe. Whatever. I don’t see how they are to be hated any more than other Hollywood celebrities. Why can’t we, “normal” people, just drop the judgment? Why do we have to resent people because they are successful? Ok yes, I agree if someone has gained success by stealing, then it is wrong. So why aren’t we more upset at CEOs, Cheney, Oil companies, Walmart more? They rob us more than the Kardashian. They do more evil. Pharmaceutical companies have worse agendas. So quit your jealous whining about so and so.

So ok, we can express our opinion. Miley Cyrus VMA performance and her new video are bad taste but let’s remember that she is human and if you don’t want your kids exposed to that, don’t let them watch it but also take the opportunity to teach your kid, and yourself, that she is human and makes choices, good, or bad. She is just a kid who is learning how to live in this world, like we all do everyday. Some of us have it figured out, some of us don’t. Some of us MIGHT THINK we have it figured out, only to wake up a decade from now to realize we are lost. There are no definite right or wrong way to live OUR lives. It is a journey. We do what we can.

Also, it wouldn’t hurt to bring some positive back. Instead of focusing on what is wrong about someone, why not try hard to find the positive aspects?

You want to know what made me want to write this post? Well, obviously, I watched that Wrecking Ball video because I wanted to see what the fuss was about (kids were talking about it and I needed to be aware). I found the song to be pretty good and the video could have been brilliant and powerful, even keeping the wrecking ball, etc. After the initial shock and disgust, I started reflecting and felt bad about the whole thing. It prompted me to realize how one small decision can change everything. Take out the self touching, nudity and hammer licking, a new approach and it could have been a more meaningful artful video.

Oh well. Maybe next time Miley. I mean in 10 or 20 years. We will forgive you. We understand. We really do.

untitled

 

 

Restrictions

It has been way too long since I wrote a post here.

I miss blogging, but my life has taken a different course the past 5 months and I have been having a hard time adjusting. I work full-time now, like many/ most people. Still, I am a full-time mom. I still run the household.

I can’t even remember if I mentioned this before but I have a couple auto immune diseases and the number one thing my doctors always recommend me is to rest, rest, rest and not push myself to hard. I have done the complete opposite for the past few months. I lost my somewhat good habits, gained at least 20 pounds, stopped exercising, am constantly tired, was total moody for 2 months when I started my new job and stopped doing almost everything that actually made me happy because I had no time to do them or was too exhausted to do them.

Some of the things I stopped doing was: well obviously, blogging. Sorry guys. Not sure you missed me but I surely missed YOU! I also stopped doing most things I love writing about on his blog. I stopped listening to music, watching movies, walking, taking photos, watching and reading news stories, checking Facebook for political humor posts to repost, and eating healthy to mention just a few. I figured that after a few months, I would adjust and find a way to reincorporate all those things I had to put on the back burner during the adjustment period. I have indeed been able to manage doing some of those things but I constantly feel rushed though. It just isn’t the same.

I had not worked full-time in quite a long-time. I always managed to work part-time so I could be a very involved mother. Being a mother is my number one priority. However, it was time and necessary to go back to work full-time to make things easier financially. Don’t get me wrong, I also went back to work full-time for me. I needed to be more validated as a person. It now sounds completely ridiculous, but I needed to feel like I was more “normal” ” be part of the society” “be like everyone else”– I know it sounds like the total opposite of what I am writing on this blog and who I am. But I guess, sometimes, you just want to feel validated. ( I had been looking for a full-time job for a while and after so many rejections, I started to feel like there was something wrong with me). I finally found a great job, that paid well, that was related to what I had gone to school for, etc. I felt like I fit in -at first. It was great, even though I was miserable at the same time (missing all I mentioned above), I was so happy to be like everyone else, skills recognized, remunerated, etc.

The only problem is: I am not like everyone else. I am not meant to work a 8-5 job. People do not appreciate me for who I am and they try to change me. In order for me to fit in, I need to drastically change my personality which in return makes me so unhappy, it is as if someone had crushed my spirit. I have been doing a fantastic job at my work. I have even at times been praised for it. However, I have been criticized for a few things that I can honestly not change, as they are just innate and part of ME. There is an unbelievable amount of double standard in my place of work and I will leave it at that as I am not interested in judging and commenting on it. Instead I want to talk about generally how it is pretty much the same everywhere. I have a huge problem with workplaces or people who have double standards. This is not a new occurrence.

In society, there are three groups: the ones who try to mold people in a certain way to control them and get what they want or need out of them/it (let’s call this GROUP A for the fun of it), the ones who fit in the mold and make themselves comfortable in it or the ones who are oblivious they are in it (GROUP B), and finally the ones who are resistant to being molded and want to burst out of the mold (GROUP Z).

Group A are employers, banks, those who hold political offices, pharmaceutical companies, teachers, doctors, the media, religious leaders, the Upper Class,etc. Group B are employees, patients, the average citizen, students, most kids, most religious people, for the most part the middle class and lower class. Group Z are activists, Anonymous and Occupy groups, people who follow those who question and expose Group A, some atheists, agnostics,  some scientific people, anyone who “doesn’t fit in”. Z people also often are B people with depression or substance abuse. They just haven’t realize yet that they are Z people, they still try to be B people. Once they realize it is ok to be who they are, they fall into the Z category.

Group A has been creating and perpetuating group B for centuries by putting restrictions on B people. I always like to go back as far as the feudal system because of it is the best, simplest and most obvious example. It must be the French in me that loves discussing this but it is not my purpose here. If you are interested in learning more about feudalism, go google it.

I have always been outspoken about the fact that I am not meant to work in a corporate environment. I do not do very well with rules. I can follow them. That is not the problem, but I become so miserable that it just ends up utterly miserable. Either I hurt myself, my being depressed or overeating, etc ( being a B person) or I end up speaking up and rebelling against the rules and resigning from my jobs. I have indeed quit  jobs because they felt unethical or because my superior had double standard or were dishonest. This unfortunately is so apparent at my current job, I am miserable. I find myself feeling sorry for humanity in a way, but then I realize it is more us, Americans. We work so hard, we make ourselves sick. We work so hard to make it. We work hard so our kids make it and don’t have to struggle. But while we are doing this, we barely see our kids, husband, families, ourselves. We lose touch with who we are.

Lately when I come home at night, I am so exhausted, I pass out on my couch and end up wasting my few hours with my kid. It makes me so sad that by the time it is bedtime, I cry. My bedroom has this collage I made a long time ago (with my kid). It is a collage that grounds me. It is all about nature, love, beauty and purity. I find myself staring at it and then I just burst out, feeling like I’m not being the being nature meant for me to be. I am upset about it too because I yearn for this being but it is seems impossible. I have so little time for fun now or just to breathe and reflect. So little time to enjoy life and my family. We all work so hard for the future or to not be homeless that we ending not enjoying the now. When will there be time? I am truly sad. And I feel stupid. Stupid that I can’t seem to figure out how to be happy in this society, how to make a living and do what I love. Isn’t it everyone’s problem? Pursuit of happiness?

It feels like my work just turns my brain off. Going to work every morning, being stuck in traffic, rushing home to rest just to do it again the next day. What a life! I knew I was never going to be happy in a cubicle. But I had to because I need to support my family. Now, I wonder if it is worth it? And I go back and forth….I do this for my kid can fulfill her dream, but at what price now? My child, like every parent is the most important thing to me in this universe. But it goes beyond the normal love between a mother and child. My child is my soul mate. I believe people have many soul mates.  My heart aches everyday when I have to be away from my kid for so long. It is truly the worst heartbreak I have ever had. Forget about boyfriends, etc. I think it is much worse because I am not happy at my work. If at least I felt joy during the day.

I know, I know. I just need to look for another job. Not so easy to do, in an economy like ours. But I do not give up. I need to get back to me. I have been saying that for years now. My favorite motto is ” When there is a will, there is a way” . So what is my problem? What is our problem? We all have dreams, aspirations, no one wants to work at a job we hate or don’t enjoy, a job that drains us and makes us feel like robots or zombie. We are all afraid. Of what? Everyone is different but we are all afraid of taking the leap. We are afraid of failure. But aren’t we failing ourselves already everyday by not being the way Nature/God intended us to be?

Happy.

 

 

 

Things we should be more thankful for: WATER

First I want to thank ,my loyal followers and readers for taking the time to read my blog posts. Secondly, I would like to apologize for being away for so long. I owe you an explanation.

I was deeply touched and truthfully, devastated by the tragedy of Newtown. Those who are closest to me know that when a tragedy occurs, it affects me to the very core of my being and soul. When Katrina happened, I cried and hurt for weeks. I felt useless. I did what I could from the state I lived in but I wish I was right there in the devastated area where I could offer my help, my hand, a shoulder to cry on.

Newtown was no different. What the families of those poor children went and are still going through is unimaginable. For days, I felt hopeless and helpless. I also felt angry and frustrated  at what I was hearing on the news, reading on Twitter and Facebook or anywhere else. To me, there was no explanation for what happened. I honestly did not turn on the TV much during that time. There was no point for me. I did read stories on the internet but I could not bear to listen to newscasters turn on their sad voices. I understand things have to be reported but there is nothing that will ever make us feel better. There is nothing that will ever give us peace of mind. I do agree that now is an opportunity of review gun laws, mental health and most importantly ourselves as a society. We need to take a good look at ourselves in the mirror and start fixing what is wrong.

Now on to this new topic which I have been so eager to write. Water.

20130113_165749

On Thanksgiving, it is custom to go around and say what we are thankful for. Obviously we are all familiar with the generic things being said. We are all thankful for our health, our jobs, our family, the food sitting on the table but we rarely talk about every little thing we use on a daily basis that makes our lives so much easier than it is in other countries or it was decades or centuries ago.

For me, the thing I am thankful for everyday (aside from my loved ones) is water. My time for giving my thanks is usually when I shower. I feel extremely thankful and humbled every night. There are people in the world who never felt water go all over their body in a shower. For some people, water is so scarce or unclean that accessing water alone is a luxury. There are nights when I am so lazy, I feel like taking a shower is a burden. Then I end up showering anyways and want to smack myself for even thinking of such a privilege as a burden. The minute the water hits my shoulder, I feel better. I feel like the luckiest person on the planet and then I take a few minutes to think of all the ways I am gifted throughout the day. We use water countless of times. We wash ourselves in the morning and night and through the day every time we wash our hands and go to the bathroom. We brush our teeth. We wash our clothes. Water helps us get rid of impurities. We all know the feeling when we are parched and someone hands us a glass of water that feels like the best thing on Earth. Water is a miracle. Water is life. Without water, we could not have evolved and be who we are. Without water and most importantly access to water, we could not thrive the way we do. When I think of how water gets to us in California, it is pretty amazing. States like California and Nevada are extra lucky and blessed. We are not meant to have water. We had to use our intelligence and technology to get water to us. This is not to be taken for granted.

 

faucet_poster2_color_for_print2

Water is so common, we use it so much that it becomes a basic thing and as every basic thing, we take it for granted. Without water, we couldn’t have our tea or coffee that makes such a difference in the way we start our day. Without water, cooking could be really difficult. Imagine making pasta or rice without clean water. If I go 48 hours without a shower, I feel so disgusting and uncomfortable, I have a hard time thinking and doing things straight. When my water gets cut off and I cannot wash my hands, I get a little panic even though I know I can wash my hands with the water I saved especially for emergencies. I am spoiled. like everyone else. I waste, like most of us. I feel guilty about it all the time. I picture people in Africa who have to walk so many miles to get just a couple of gallons of water. They have to walk in what would be unbearable heat to us, just to do it again the next day. Some people die from drinking unsafe water. That’s how lucky we are: we never have to worry about dying from the water we drink. We never have to really weigh the pros and cons and take risk every time we take a sip.

The good thing is that there are a lot of things we can do. First thing is to be aware. If we can be thankful for what we have and be aware of how precious water is, we are moving forward. We can try to conserve water in any way possible, take shorter shower, turn off the water when we are brushing our teeth or cooking, not wash our cars so often (enough vanity, who cares if our car is not so shiny), monitor when we water our lawn, follow our community and government regulations, etc. We can also become more active and join or/and support non-profit organization who provide solution to conserve water and/or bring water where it is actually needed like third world countries.

Below is a list of some organizations you should take time to look at.

The Stockholm International Water Institute (SIWI) is a policy institute that seeks sustainable solutions to the world’s escalating water crisis. SIWI manages projects, synthesizes research and publishes findings and recommendations on current and future water, environment, governance and human development issues

http://www.siwi.org/

Just a Drop is an international water aid charity, which builds wells, hand pumps and boreholes in 31 countries in the developing world.

http://www.justadrop.org/

Water.org is a nonprofit organization that has transformed hundreds of communities in Africa, South Asia, and Central America by providing access to safe water and sanitation.

http://water.org

Charitywater.org is bringing clean water to people in developing countries

http://www.charitywater.org/

Water Conserve is a Water Conservation Portal dedicated to protecting and conserving drinking water and ecosystems worldwide – with a genuine Internet water search engine, constant water news and link tracking, and biocentric commentary.

http://www.waterconserve.org/

Founded in 2000 by leading journalists and scientists, Circle of Blue provides relevant, reliable, and actionable on-the-ground information about the world’s resource crises.

http://www.circleofblue.org/waternews/about/
ClearWater Initiative is a U.S.-based 501(c)3 nongovernmental organization that strives to provide clean, potable water solutions to populations in need and educate the public about the importance of clean water.

http://www.clearwaterinitiative.org/

Do you feel forced to follow tradition? An epiphany on Epiphany!

After a few weeks of writer’s block, it finally hit me. Don’t you love that moment when something comes to you and all you want to do is grab a keyboard ( *smiles*) and write a blog post about it. Well here it comes. I had my epiphany, ironically enough on Epiphany!

One of my readers figured out some of my origins after reading my blog post about eating consciousness. No wonder, all that mention about eating rabbit and cow’s tongue and liver as a child gave it away. Yes I am partly French. My whole adult life, I have had issues with how to keep up with traditions. As I mentioned in previous posts, the first dilemma came when we had to figure out whether to celebrate Christmas or not. Well I figured that out. But there are so many other things. For me and my husband, a few issues come to mind. First, we’re not Catholic but both had at least one Catholic parent, then when it comes to me, I was raised in a home where food WAS a national TRADITION! I’m not joking. So, even after having figured out that we didn’t have to celebrate some religious holidays, food is always a reminder or even an excuse. Like today. Today is Epiphany. I grew up celebrating Epiphany. My mom was not really a practicing Catholic but in France, it was tradition to get the Galette with the fève inside. Whoever got the fève was crowned King or Queen. Also, every time you would visit someone during the whole month of January, you would have to bring a galette. Whoever got the fève was the next one to buy the galette. It went on until the end of the month. We also have until the end of the month to wish Happy New Year. Anytime afterwards was bad taste.

I continued all the traditions I grew up with (well most of them) because it is heart warming and I wanted share my culture with my family and kid.

After a few years, I now find those traditions more as chores and duties. I went to bed last night thinking, “oh shit, tomorrow is Epiphany, I have to go get a galette I guess” excuse my language but that is really what I thought. I started wondering where I would get it, where the best one is at, which store has the cheapest…. AND because of my new vegan diet, I honestly had no desire to even eat it. It was Christmas all over again. At Christmas, I bought a bûche de Noel but I wasn’t excited about eating it. I looked forward to my vegetables a lot more.  Traditions are legacies, I get it. But we change, people change, so why do I feel so guilty by just thinking about NOT getting a Bûche de Noel or a Galette? I think it is because all those things were fun for me as a child, but I am not a child anymore and I could care less if I eat a galette on a Holiday I don’t even believe in. I am a closeted double hypocrite. So here, I am out. I am not Catholic and I celebrate Catholic holidays just because I did when I was younger even though it was mostly because of the fun and for the food and now I force myself to do it for my kid.

Don’t get me wrong. I do like traditions but after a while, it is time to move on. For example, we used to celebrate Easter, but now we no longer go for the Easter egg hunt. We graduated from that tradition. I never baked beignet on Mardi Gras like my grandmother used to. That’s ok. I don’t make crepes that often either which probably explain why I am not rich since the tradition is that if you make crepe on a certain day, you’re supposed to be rich all year. I think I have to stop being so hard on myself. Another reason why I kept those traditions for so long even when they annoyed me was because my mother would make me feel guilty about not being in France anymore. I think she was afraid my kid would not have enough reminders of where we came from. That could not be further from the truth. We all know where we come from and we cherish it. What is more important though to us is who we are today as people. Who we are is not defined by traditions. I love my origins and I will always cherish them but I see myself more as a part of the human race than as a National of a specific country or a follower of a specific faith. We did a great job raising our child that way. This might anger some people, but I find it wrong to force kids to say the pledge of Allegiance to the American Flag every day in school. We love our country very very much in our house. 9/11 was one of the worst days of our lives. We love our American People but we do not need to assert it that way because we feel we alienate the rest of the world. Traditions are like history to me. They have to be remembered and people choose to remember history in their own ways. Some express their opinions loudly, some join parades, some make movies about it, some light a candle quietly in the privacy of their home. The way we choose to honor our traditions is up to us and we shall not feel pressured by anyone, not our parents, not capitalism (hello Valentine’s day around the corner) or our government. So I am officially over the guilt.

The other very important thing to remember is to forever create new traditions. It is actually the most fun. I have countless ideas every year which turn into beautiful new memories and traditions and it makes me happy to know that I am continuing to write our history.

 

Now for all those of you who wonder what I ended up doing: well, I did it. I went out and bought a Galette des Rois. When I came home I wrote this post…out of frustration. Now I think I will actually enjoy it more but I will no longer do anything just because I have to follow some tradition.

 

20130106_163759

 

 

My thoughts exactly: what the problem really is.

I was going to finally sit down and write a post about the Newton massacre, our gun law discussion, video games, etc and the relationship between all of those things but everything I was going to say has already been written so, please click the link below.

 

http://www.michaelmoore.com/words/mike-friends-blog/celebrating-prince-peace-land-guns

My kind of Holiday afternoon fun at home: movie and homemade treats

When I come home from work on the weekend, I like to sometimes just stay home, watch movies and chat with my family. This time of year, it is even more fun. We watch silly Christmas movies and laugh. Today we also baked. I made these amazing Gluten Free Cranberry Oatmeal Almond Orange Zest scones. Unfortunately I cannot take credit for them!   I found the recipe on this wonderful website. Please stop by to thank Amie at www.thehealthyapple.com if you make it. It is such a healthy recipe. Everyone will love it!

orange zest scones

  • 3 cups gluten-free oats
  • 2 Tbsps chia seeds
  • 1 tsp. baking soda
  • 1 tsp. sea salt
  • 2 tsp. cinnamon
  • 1 1/3 cups dried cranberries
  • 2 tsp. fresh orange zest
  • 1/3 cup silvered almonds
  • 3/4 cup Coconut Milk
  • 2 Tbsps lemon juice
  • 1/3 cup coconut oil, at room temperature
  • 1/4 cup agave nectar

For more accurate directions, please visit the website above.

I changed the recipe just a little bit. I ran out of chia seeds 2 days ago so I omitted. I added flaxseeds instead. I added vegan chocolate chips this time also and I decided to make them scones instead of muffins.

To go with this, I made my homemade pumpkin drink. Instead of buying the Starbucks holiday drinks, I like to make them. I do not drink milk or soy milk so at home, I make my yummy hot drinks with almond or coconut milk. I add some can pumpkin until almost to a boil, add some honey and agave and I’m ready to enjoy my favorite drink this time of year. I sometimes add nutmeg and cinnamon. No artificial pumpkin syrup!!!

I hope you try it. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

More than a detox

Here I am. 42 days later. I did it. I fasted for 6 whole weeks. I achieved something I doubted I would ever accomplished. I never thought it would be impossible but I had doubts. I mostly thought it was going to be a long painful process. On the contrary, it was rather easy. A little too easy. I fasted on fresh juices and water. Some days I would really only drink water or coconut water- my idea of speeding things up. My reason for this fast was to detoxify my body, ridding it of toxins I felt were clogging my body and mind. I had last done a 21 day fast about 2 years ago. A most recent one was a week fast. I wanted to push it as long as I could so I figured I’d aim for double the longest one I had done. Breuss juice fast is 42 days so I decide to do my own version of that, just not as strict. I didn’t do as many enema, and I didn’t have just one type of juice. I do not like fruit juices too much however so I pretty much stuck to my veggie juices. Now that I am done, I am already thinking about my next fast. See, I do not feel this one was enough. I could continue longer but I think I would rather take a break and go on a new fast in a few months.

So, besides the definite cleansing, what did I get from this amazing fast? Well, I got clarity. On a lot of things. I feel that I am more accepting of myself. I judged myself, got over many things and accepted myself. I also now care less about what people think. My whole life, I felt the need to be accepted by everyone. If not, I somehow failed or there was something wrong with me. This, obviously, is deeply rooted in the way my family made me feel. I always felt I had to prove something. I oddly feel a sense of relief. Nothing specific occurred. I simply feel more at ease.

My fast also triggered some fear in me, but it is good fear. I came to a great realization that I could very well fall back to old habits. This fear as well as the incredible achievement I just accomplished definitely will keep me in check. I think that my fear of failing me will probably keep me on track, at least for a while. Disappointing myself would be very depressing. This fast required a huge amount of self-control which I had. I cooked, but did not eat. Temptation was not really an issue. When you commit to a fast, cheating is out of the question. So now, I ask myself, if I had this kind of commitment for 42 days, if I was able to resist eating some of my favorite, not so healthy food, why would I not be able to do the same now? I refused to poison myself for 6 weeks and I need to take this discipline and keep it for my entire life. See, my problem with food was always an emotional one. It is not that I do not make good choices, it’s more an issue of self-control. If I like something, I’ll eat more than I should. If I don’t feel good, I’ll eat because I will fool myself into thinking it will make me feel better (when in reality I know it won’t). It had come to a point where I was fully aware that something was bad for me, that I would only enjoy it for a few seconds and then immediately feel bad about it. That is an addiction and I knew that. I needed to break up with food. I had no fear about fasting during Thanksgiving. I almost did it on purpose. I knew I had to look at food in the face and be ok with not eating it. It’s like any other disease. You only know you are cured if you can look at it and not touch it. An alcoholic knows he is stronger if he can have a bottle in front of him or even friends drinking and not be bothered by it.

I wanted to write this post for myself primarily. I think that if I ever feel bad habits creeping up on me, I will come back and read this and hopefully it will give me the strength to not succumb to temptations. Last time I did a longer fast, I was doing good for quite a long period of time until some life events happen and sadly fell off the wagon. I sincerely hope that this will not happen. I know that my love for food will never go away and I know that my roots will always tempt me to eat certain food that are not necessarily good for me ( cheese, butter and chocolate are my main problem) but what I need to remember is to have balance. If I can master balance, then everything will be ok. Achieving balance is a very hard thing for me. I am a black or white kind of person, right or wrong. Ask my husband! I think I ought to watch The Little Buddha again. Knowing is nothing if you cannot turn it into action. I need to turn this whole idea of moderation and the Middle Way into life, and especially in my eating habits!

Do you have issues? With food? Anything? Did you ever fast? Please share with us anything you think would be valuable to us.

Blessings

Buddabamama’s Favorite Things 2012 edition (1st Edition) ;-)

Hello Everyone,

It was expected of me to write a blog about the school shooting tragedy. I am, after all, an activist. I am pro stricter gun laws and restrictions. I am all for taking care of our people/ each other, better. I am for better health care including better mental health care. I am for and against a lot of things. I however, feel that the past few days have only brought up more anger. I have been angry myself, stirring up some conversations on Facebook. When something tragic happens, we usually come closer, but in this case, because of the nature of this tragedy, our country is divided. The gun debate is on the table once again. Hopefully this time, we can come up with a compromise. But as I have and will mention in future posts, gun laws are not the only thing to change.

Instead of discussing all the things that we can do, change, better, etc. I would like to follow my kid’s advice and write a positive post, after the fast post, the things that frustrate me post, here is a things I like post. Hopefully you will find some things you like too among my list of fun things. Some I discovered years ago, some just recently. So, a la Oprah style, here are, my Favorite Things:

* Let me start with a website I discovered just a few months ago. It is called Inhabitat.

“Inhabitat.com is a weblog devoted to the future of design, tracking the  innovations in technology, practices and materials that are pushing architecture  and home design towards a smarter and more sustainable future.”

Inhabitat is a great blog for anyone who is environmentally conscious, likes cool eco-friendly ideas. They have many sections such as fashion, products, art, technology and architecture.

* Mumford and Sons. My favorite band this year. I just love them so much. ok. I have always had an obsession with British, Scottish or Irish music. If you love bluegrass, folk music, mandolin and banjo, then Mumford and Sons is for you as well!

* HOMELAND. If there is one DVD I would recommend to buy this season, it would be season 1 of HOMELAND. Season 2 just ended too so it will be available shortly. Best show on Cable for sure.

* Favorite documentary this year: HAPPY and BUCK. Buck is more than a Horse documentary, it is a documentary for humanity. It is a must see. Watching it just makes you a better person. It teaches you love, forgiveness and strength.

*Favorite movie this year: well I have unfortunately not been able to see what would probably be my favorite movie: ARGO. Ben Affleck is a fantastic director and I know Argo would be my favorite. But ok, there were some really good movies that did not get enough credit. The Magic of Belle Isle was one of them. Moonrise Kingdom was another one. Butter was hilarious.

* Favorite new app: PINTEREST. Also: POLYVORE.

* Favorite new scientific show: Through the Wormhole

* Favorite new healthy product: E3Live

* Favorite new chocolate: CHUAO Chocolatier. Available at Whole Foods also.

* Favorite new product that I have not bought yet: MICROSOFT SURFACE. I went to the store to play with it and I admit, it is pretty cool. It has all the features a cool smartphone would have but it’s a computer!!!! I want! Someday….probably in 5 years when I will have a ton of other cooler stuff!

*  Favorite hair product: Shikai

* New alcoholic discovery: Leblon Brazilian Rum You can use it as Rum or Tequila. Pretty good stuff!

* My weird obsession this year: Adam Levine. I never used to like him or Maroon Five but now I love them and him! The Voice has shown us a great side of him I had no idea existed. I would love to meet the guy.

* Favorite new actor discovery this year: Tom Hiddleston Deep Blue Sea, War Horse. He gives amazing performances. Also, he is British….

* Favorite actress in 2012: Jessica Chastain. I absolutely love that woman! The Help and The Tree of Life were two of my favorite movies this year and her performances were to me in both movies, oscar worthy. I am excited about Zero Dark Thirty.  Jessica Chastain is going to be big, just watch!

* Best TV comedy: yes, still, of course: MODERN FAMILY

As you can see, I am not a materialistic person, I cannot really think of many products I have to share with you. I guess if I had a show, I wouldn’t have too many things to give away like Oprah! Sorry for that….or Am I?

Not. Really.